What becomes of the brokenhearted?
My heart broke when I lost my mum in 2018!
I was so upset that I was continuously angry and aggressive towards everybody who I lived with and the staff at the Residential Home I had lived in for the past 4 years.
I shouted. I swore. I hit them. I hit people in the street when we went out. I tried to gouge out their eyes, banged my head, and screamed…… and when I say creamed, I mean screamed VERY loudly.
The staff couldn’t cope with me any longer and one day I was taken to a hospital ward and left there. I was all alone on this ward and my mum had gone into hospital to die so I was worried it would happen to me. I was not happy and decided to show them EVERY day (more than a few times). I was also in constant pain, with oedema and my heart can give up at any time meaning I have lots of restrictions on my diet. Sometimes I would hear the staff talking, they were saying that the ward was going to close and they didn’t think anyone would “have me” as my behaviour was so “bad”
I have never felt so lonely and unhappy. One day I had a visitor from somewhere called ubu. He told me that there was a lovely home with a garden waiting for me
That there were people living there I could make friends with. Adaptations had been made so I could live there safely. A team of staff had been employed who would get to know me and how I wanted to live.
These staff had been trained to look after me, communicating in the way I needed and with respect so that I wouldn’t feel angry all the time. I would have 2 people to support me at all times. He said that the people who knew me well had put a plan together so that I could learn how to look after my new home and would have lots of things to do during the day.
To be honest this all sounded too good to be true!
But it WAS true, I moved in 6 months ago to be met with a party, cards and flowers and now feel so happy. I have never hit anyone since I moved in. I hardly ever scream or shout. I live a busy and interesting life and have made new friends. I am learning to cook, have bought flowers to plant in my garden and can move better due to losing a little weight.
My enablers put photographs of my mum on the wall in my flat, and although my heart still aches and I miss her terribly, for the first time I have somewhere to call my home and feel loved and important.