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Second Day of ubu Christmas: Our Christmas Joke Competition

Today, the second day of our Christmas competitions, we are looking for funny Christmas Jokes to help us get into a jolly festive mood. We had some brilliant entries which made us laugh out loud. Here are a few to make you smile too…



Darren from Leeds, who is enabled by ubu to live independently in his own flat sent us this one:


“Why can’t a Christmas tree stand up?”

“Because it doesn’t have any legs”


Emily who lives in the same block of flats as Darren came up with this cracker:

“Who doesn’t eat at Christmas?”

“A turkey because its stuffed!”


Christian and Jack got together to write a whole page a festive jokes which should keep us busy until the New Year:


“What do they sing at a snowman's birthday party?” “Freeze a jolly good fellow”


“Why does Santa have three gardens?” “So he can 'ho ho ho'!”


“What does Miley Cyrus have at Christmas?”

“Twerky!”

“Knock, knock”

"Who's there?"

“Arthur”

“Arthur who?” “Arthur any mince pies left?”


“What do vampires sing on New Year's Eve?” “Auld Fang Syne”


“Why did Santa's helper see the doctor?” “Because he had a low "elf" esteem!”


“What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar?” “He got 25 days!”


“What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?” “A Holly Davidson!”

“What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?” “A Christmas Quacker!”


“What is the best Christmas present in the world?” “A broken drum, you just can't beat it!”


Anthony and Richard from Trafford made their Christmas jokes into cartoons which really ticked us.



Ann from Pontefract and from all the people we serve in Wigan sent in these funny jokes:

“What do you get if you swallow a Christmas tree?”

“Tinselitis!”


“What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?” “The Christmas alphabet has Noel!”


It was really hard to choose an overall winner so we decided to award these two video entries the top spot: Shane from Lincoln and two ladies from Louth.


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