Katie's Diary

Love - One size doesn't fit all by Dorothy Jarvis-lee

11th February 2016

LOVE comes in all shapes and sizes and we can never be prescriptive about it.  In a world where there is so much heartache and every day can be tough for many people, I firmly believe that if anyone has the opportunity for personal happiness they should be encouraged to follow their heart.

The days when boy meets girl and after a courtship they all live happily ever after, has always been the stuff of fairy tales rather than the gritty reality for some people.

Here at ubu, there are of many of us who have found lasting love often against the odds and actually achieve the happy ever after.  So one has to ask why do so many to face discouragement in the first place, when the benefits of happiness and love are scientifically proven.

The other day when I was out walking Chutzpah, I was reminded of the sense of wellbeing that a wide spectrum of friendships can bring to everyone and why we should encourage that freedom of expression.

He’s always been inquisitive and makes friends easily with people and other animals.  Commonly we meet other dogs but one of our walks through brings us into contact with some horses.  Over time they have overcome any natural suspicion and become great friends.  Now they both look forward to meeting up and exchanging a kiss.

People sometimes seeing it, think it strange.  What could a dog and horse possibly have in common and how could they be such good friends?  Isn’t a small domesticated dog going to get crushed? Won’t he snap and bite the horse?  We seem to see barriers rather than gates.

It’s often the same when we see people from different backgrounds together.  Rather than freeing our minds of prejudice we ask negative questions.  What can they have in common?   That friendship can never last?

Thankfully, for the friends involved, they aren’t seeing anyone other than a person they love, with their communication based on trust and two way dialogues.  As much as talking to or with is important, it’s equally important to know that there are people around us that listen.

Successful friendship and love is when people open their minds, their ears and really hear what others are saying and find some common ground that makes them happy.  It isn’t for anyone else to impose their prejudice or judgement on them.  There are few opportunities for real personal happiness in today’s society, so we should encourage people to grab what they can, in whatever way it presents itself.

If two people find common ground, develop a friendship based on trust and love, then they should be encouraged to enjoy that without society putting barriers between them.

History is peppered with odd couples who have found true lasting love and friendship in spite of their differences.  Romeo and Juliet had warring families to contend with, while others have to cross real cultural divides.  For the people that we serve, striving to settle into their own homes and establish independent lives, friendship and love means so much… It’s the icing on their cake.  Thankfully in the 21st century we are all able to broaden our social circles and find love.

As Valentine’s Day approaches, let’s all encourage those around us, to look for friendship, happiness and love… Let’s make every second count, share a smile and knock down the barriers that stop so many for taking that crucial step! 

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Love - One size doesn't fit all by Dorothy Jarvis-lee

 I decide what matters to me. ubu help and teach me to make my future happen 

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